Frames per Second, Blinks per Lifetime

Frames per second, one typical measure of a video capturing device. The more, the better. Video is simply a bunch of sequential pictures (frames) displayed very quickly back to back. The more frames per second you display, the more seamless the video is. 

Here's a simple animation I created in 2005. It's a style called 'stop-motion'.

https://youtu.be/LrogHSFyhtk

This video probably has an average framerate of 6 or so frames per second. It's 30 seconds long, which means this video is comprised of approximately 182 individual photos. I bent the paper clip, took a picture, bent it again, took another picture and so on. As you can tell it's pretty choppy. If I took more photos between each bend of the paperclip, the video would be much smoother. If you've ever seen films from Tim Burton like The Nightmare Before Christmas or Corpse Bride, this is exactly the kind of animation he uses. It's an insane amount of work! In any case..

Lately, my life seems to have been speeding up. It also feels like experiencing less frames per second. I seem to be jumping from one point in my life to the next in the blink of an eye. I feel like I'm missing out on so many moments in between. It's almost as if my body's 'camera' for capturing life has degraded over time as I've gotten older, giving me less frames per second. 

But, is it really age related? Maybe it has something to do with being busy with work and graduate school. Perhaps when I have more free time I won't feel like this. It may also have something to do with constant distractions like social media and smartphone addiction. We pick up our smartphones an unhealthy number of times per day. Checking text messages, social media notifications, refreshing Twitter or Reddit to get that quick shot of dopamine. Before we know it, the day is over. Huge blocks of time disappear. Was it time well spent? Likely not. 

I need to take control of my life's camera. I need to capture all the precious moments that I have. Not only capture those moments, but fill them with meaning. I can't let them just pass by without much notice. I need to create a story. Add color, excitement. Or, simply enjoy the moment, perhaps in form of meditation. Most importantly I need to be there, engaged, living in those moments. I don't want to be distracted by things that ultimately don't matter. 

The other day I caught myself in one of those distracted states that may cause your life to fast-forward. I snapped out of what felt like hypnosis, jumped out of my chair and bolted out of my door and headed up to the roof and spend the next 20 minutes there to observe the city around me, witness the sunset, and snap a few photos while I was there. Afterward, I felt more at peace. More alive. More conscious. 

Appreciate and take advantage of all of moments you have! Grab hold and take control. Take yourself in a different direction. Go for a walk! Go a different route than usual. Go sit on a bench of you've never sit on before. Walk down a street you've never been down. This is a pretty common practice to increase your mental health. Just wander aimlessly:

https://www.mindful.org/aimless-wandering-mindfulness-practice-video/

A similar term for the same technique is flaneuring. Flaneur: an idle man around town. Another is forest bathing.

Another problem I think we have nowadays is technology-induced attention deficit. We can't focus. When we're awake, we go from one topic to the next. Our eyes are constantly looking around, never really focusing on anything for more than a few seconds. Rapid eye movement or REM is what occurs during our deep sleep. REM is good during sleep, but when we're awake we need to make sure to control and slow down our eye's movement. 

There are many methods and techniques to control our focus and mental health and awareness, which include many forms of meditation. What I like to do sometimes is to shut all the lights off and light a candle. All I do is focus on the flickering flame. That's all that matters for the time being. Lose yourself in the flame. Let your mind go blank. Breath deeply. Don't look away. Blink slowly. This might be boring at first, but keep at it and until you feel calm. Life's distractions will try to pull you away. Don't let them. Focus on what matters, which right now is this small manifestation of light energy dancing in the air.

Sources:

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/07/17/536676954/forest-bathing-a-retreat-to-nature-can-boost-immunity-and-mood

https://lifehacker.com/how-and-why-you-should-wander-aimlessly-1845464723

https://www.mindful.org/aimless-wandering-mindfulness-practice-video/

My White Privilege

I'm a 34 year old white man. I'm moderately successful and make a pretty decent salary. I worked hard to get where I am. Up until recently, it hadn't occurred to me that I have had a large advantage in life because of the color of my skin. 

Why did it take me so long to realize this? A lot of it has to do with recent events along with the Black Lives Matter movement. Part of the reason is because of my lack of understanding of history. In addition, even though I don't see racism on a day to day basis, it often happens behind the scenes.

Growing up I didn't have many friends. Maybe a handful here and there through grade school. Three of them were black. Actually, I think my very first friend was black. This was in Alaska. My father was in the army, so we did a fair amount of traveling. We eventually settled in New England, which is where most of our family was. 

Now in New England, I started elementary school at a mostly white school from grades 1-2. Then we moved again, but not far. Starting in third grade in a different elementary school, my best friend was black. His name was Marques. I'm not entirely sure how the relationship started. I was always very quiet and reserved. I think he's one of the only kids who would talk to me. Perhaps I was the only other kid who  would talk to him. He remained by best friend until middle school. We ate lunch and spent recess together. We even played baseball together on the same team for a season in Little League. 

I also had another (black) friend later on by the name of Jesse which began when I stood up for him on the school bus after school. Some other kids were teasing him. Jesse was the Steve Urkel type, so he was constantly being picked on. After elementary school ended, things changed. We were no longer in the same classroom and naturally grew apart. From middle school on, I was essentially a loner. I had a hard time making friends.  Marques and I interacted a little bit in Middle and High school, but not much. The last time I saw Marques was actually in College much later on. We randomly ran into each other and chatted very briefly and then went on with our lives. 

Later on in high school I had a few friends, one of which was my second cousin (half white/hispanic). Another was an Italian boy who lived down the street from me. I was sort of adopted into a small group of skateboarders, all of whom were white. We listened to bands like Slipknot and Rage Against the Machine. We did stupid and silly things around town like mimic the members of Jackass, driving each other in shopping carts and launching into big bushes. Even though I spent a significant amount of time with these kids, I never really felt close to them. There were never really any deep or meaningful conversations. I drifted away from these people as well eventually a few years after high school. 

Then in college, I settled on mathematics for my major. My classes were 95% white students and professors. I stumbled upon an engineering job after that. At the company, I could count the number of black employees on one hand. A good number of  Asian/Indian. Some hispanic. Mostly white. I would say, 85% white. The breakdown should reflect that of the state. See graph at top for state of CT where my company is. E.g. if my company had 100 employees, at least 11 of them (or more) should be black. 

I never thought twice about it. But, it's likely the case that I was given preference, not for my qualifications, but for my white skin. I have never seen this happen first-hand because I have never been in a management or HR position, but I'm convinced that this type of discrimination happens. And it's not just at work. It's anywhere I go. People will treat me better and show me more respect because I am white. That's a gigantic advantage in life to have. 

I never thought much about racism because I never experienced it. I never even witnessed it. My family, at least on the surface weren't visibly racist. I was raised to treat everyone with respect. I had several black friends growing up. My high school was at most 50% white. I grew up among a mixed bag of people. Little did I know that society viewed me as more valuable than my non-white classmates.

To be honest, I was never much interested in history growing up. I knew that human slaves existed and I knew slavery was abolished. Therefore, everything was fine. The playing field was now level. Right? WRONG. It never occured to me just how unfair things still were. And still are. It has never been a level and fair playing field. Part of the reason is because of unregulated capitalism throughout the world. Whites had a huge head start in terms of property and wealth. After slavery was abolished, the only people who were starting from the ground up were former slaves. With such a large head start, how would they ever be able catch up in society? It would be one thing if in addition to the abolishment of slavery, racism could be turned off like a light switch. Sadly that was not the case. BUT, even if it was the case and racism didn't exist, having to start at such a low level of society - and a capitalistic one at that, is an almost impossible hurdle.

White privilege has been ingrained in our society ever since europeans came to America. White settlers felt entitled to this land and stripped it away from the Native Americans. They felt superior to those who had a darker skin color. They completely took over the land, largely by force. Later on they purchased and brought slaves over to America and forced them to do their bidding, to allow the lives of White people to be cozy and comfortable. This sense of entitlement and privilege never faded away. Once the whites were in power, they hoarded that power. The whites had children and raised their children with the same values they had. In addition, these children inherited their parent's wealth. Being wealthy from the get go puts you in a different mindset from those who have to work hard to accumulate wealth. It makes you feel superior and entitled. Most wealthy folks are white, hence the white privilege gets perpetuated. 

I was recently called a racist. This came from a random email through my school email from another student. I was one of hundreds of graduate students she included in the email. She was on a mission, a tirade some would say. She was calling everyone a racist. What she really meant (in my view), was that we were all participants in a systematic racist country. I am not a racist, at least in the conventional definition of the word. However, I admit I am an unwitting participant in this systematic racist country. I have a privilege that I shouldn't have. Indeed, since I am not part of the solution, I am part of the problem.

Society has been white-washed throughout the years, a sort of brainwashing in which I succumbed to. There used to be a song I used to hear all the time on the radio called, 'Fast Car' by Tracy Chapman. This was a fantastic song. It always drew me in and gave me chills. Just recently, in the year 2020 did I find out the artist is a black woman. I always assumed it was a white woman! I am so ashamed and embarrassed. Another band I used to listen to is Sevendust. I had no idea the lead singer was black! What is wrong with me? Why did I assume they were all white? Maybe it's because all the other bands I listened to had white-only members. But, I think there's a deeper underlying cause for my assumption - and that is systematic racism. 

Tracy Chapman - Fast Car: https://youtu.be/AIOAlaACuv4

Sevendust - Dirty: https://youtu.be/8avjkSoRSbk

Earth, Wind & Fire - September: https://youtu.be/Gs069dndIYk

Now that I'm finally aware of systematic racism and my privilege as a white person, I want to take action. The first thing I can and should do is further educate myself. Recently I watched a historic dramatization of the life of Harriet Tubman on HBO. INCREDIBLE. Blame it on my education. Blame it on my own self disinterest in history as an adolescent - I had no awareness of the struggles of black folks even after slavery was being outlawed. Harriet was a real-life angel on earth. She was the real Wonder Woman. 

I Am Not Your Negro (available on Netflix): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Am_Not_Your_Negro

Harriet (HBO): https://www.hbo.com/movies/harriet

I will read more content from black authors. Currently, I am reading "Go Tell It On The Mountain" by James Baldwin. 

I will vote for minorities and people who support minorities. I recently had the honor of voting for Ayanna Pressley in my district of Boston.

I will befriend and support minorities in my workplace.

I will seek out and support minority-owned small business.

I will call out my friends and family for any racist or insensitive comments or actions they make. 

I will do what I can to support the BLM movement: https://blacklivesmatter.com/

If I was a minority, I would want the majority to be aware of the discrimination and take steps to level the playing field. We're all humans. If you have any empathy whatsoever, you will join in the movement to help create a society where the color of your skin doesn't matter.

Additional media from the minority perspective:

https://muse-parade.blogspot.com/2019/08/the-hate-u-give-audiobook-review.html

https://muse-parade.blogspot.com/2019/04/becoming-audiobook-review.html

The Time We Have Left

Do you ever get the feeling you're about to die? Or going to die soon? Perhaps you think about doing it yourself, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm also not talking about having a terminal illness, having a gun pointed at your head, or being at an old enough age where you're likely to kick the bucket. It's a different, less severe, and humbling feeling. It's an odd, usually random, and fleeting feeling that something bad is going to happen. Something unexpected. Something tragic, yet bittersweet.

It's different than being in a near-miss (really, near-hit) car accident. It's different from the feeling you get when the airplane you're in experiences strong and sudden turbulence. It's not a feeling of panic. It's not that intense feeling of sadness you get when you think about death and how you don't want to die.

There could be nothing wrong in my life. I'll be driving down the road, usually a highway at night after rush hour, and this feeling hits me. I feel like my life is about to end. I think to myself what could cause it. Will there be a random drunk driver who drives me off the road? Am I going to experience a seizure and drive into a wall? Or maybe it'll happen after I get off  the road. Am I going to be mugged at gunpoint tonight? Will the gunner decide to kill me anyway, even after I handed them my wallet? 

Maybe it'll be something slower. Do I have cancer? I'm not experiencing any symptoms. Maybe it's something that will manifest itself in a way that is not noticeable, and by the time it's diagnosed, it'll be too late. If so, how much longer do I have left? Should I start getting my affairs in order?

I'm still young. Statistically, I still have about fifty years of life left. But, that's an average. I could be an outlier. Or simply, just on the lower part of the curve. With what's going on recently, you never know. I never used to have these feelings. They must have started a few years ago. I don't know if they are going to be temporary or recurring. 

But, I hope they don't go away. It's a sad feeling and a reminder of my eventual death, but it gives me motivation. Do what you can before your time is up. It's a reminder not to dwell on bad memories or regrets.

I have a fear of flying. Even though I don't show it, I'm nervous from the night before the flight to the point after landing. It's obvious by my overactive gut and bowel movements. But, after touching down I feel alive. I want to take on the world. Complete my goals. Live like there's no tomorrow. I used to wonder if there's a way to replicate this feeling even without flying. Maybe now, I have that. 

Lately I've been experiencing a slightly different feeling. It's not fleeting. It's more constant. I don't know if I'll shake the feeling or not. Hard to say. Maybe I don't want it to go away. I've had an incessant need to share and pass on my knowledge to the younger generation. I feel like if I don't share it soon, it'll be too late.

Some say it's good to feel frightened from time to time. Maybe this is why. If you live every day in a fog, like a zombie, you lose track of what's important. You lose sight of your limited time. 

I wish I could wake up every morning and feel like my plane just landed. I don't know yet how to mimic this feeling. I hope the feeling I have been experiencing lately doesn't fade away. Living in monotony is my worst nightmare. Life has a lot to offer. Sometimes you're limited by feelings from your past. Maybe it's psychological. Maybe it's stubbornness. 

Motivation is a funny thing. Sometimes it comes to you out of thin air. Most of the time I think it is random, but you may be able to increase the likelihood by making some changes in your life. Put yourself in an uncomfortable situation. Do something that scares you. Heck, it could even be a little thing like trying a different kind of food or going for a walk a different path from what you're used to. They say, the human soul thrives on exploration.

I'm going to die, but I don't know when. I shouldn't dwell on that fact, but it's good to be reminded of my limited time. I want to experience life. I want to share what I learn and discover. It's a miracle I exist in the first place. Why would I waste my limited time by thinking about my painful past? Why would I constantly do things I don't want to do? It's my life and I only have small amount of time. Then, I'm gone for good.

I'm thinking I'll change my alarm clock sound on my phone to to the sound of a jet engine coming in for a landing. Maybe that'll help induce this feeling of being alive. Really, alive.

Empathy

Human beings are animals. This is a scientific fact. Sure, we're typically smarter than most other animals, but we aren't special. We live and we die like any other living thing. No offense to any religious folks out there, but I do not believe we are children of any kind of god. We weren't created in the eyes of any omniscient being. We don't exist for any special reason. We exist due to random chance is this crazy, complex universe. Until recently, I felt special. I thought humans in general were special. I thought we were somehow more than just the collection of molecules that comprise our bodies and minds. 

We are all genetically very similar, but we're all wired differently, in a psychological sense. It's a mixture of nature and nurture. I used to think that since we are all human, we can all understand each other. I thought we could all feel empathy toward each other. I thought that being human, everyone must feel the same as I do, deep down. I don't believe this any more.

No matter what you do. How logical you are. How clear and articulate you are. Some people will feel a certain way no matter what you say to them. No matter what happens. Often, people act on feeling rather than logic. Often, it doesn't matter what the logic says. And sometimes, life isn't logical, so you have no choice but to act on feeling. Or perhaps, one cannot understand the logic or what the communication is attempting to convey. 

People are selfish in a way that they have no regard for others. Some are innately power hungry. Some feel superior to others, often in the form of racism. Many believe they know what's best, regardless of the logical views of others. In my experiences so far in life, I believe there is a spectrum. Most people I've interacted with are similar while a few select others are outliers. The outliers include the people who are racist, power hungry, or extremely selfish. The others are calm, logical, empathetic people that seem similar to myself. 

I am a pacifist to an extent. Popular historic pacifists include Einstein, Helen Keller, John Lennon, Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr (MLK). Avoid war at all costs. As we are humans, we should be able to resolve any issues in a logical manner. However, this is based on the gigantic assumption that all humans feel empathy. The assumption that all humans are logical. The assumption that all humans can be convinced, given a clear argument. Take Hitler for example. Do you think he felt empathy? Do you think he could have ever been convinced that his race was not superior to those of others in the world? I don't think so. Therefore, war was necessary. 

MLK contrasted with those such as Malcolm X. How do you bring about change in a world where not all can be convinced? MLK believed in peaceful protests. Malcolm X, at least earlier on believed peaceful protests were not effective. Are riots effective at bringing about change? That is hard to say. Maybe. Personally, I react better to calm, logical arguments. Personally, I can be convinced given a sound argument. If I see a riot with violence, destruction, and looting I generally don't react well - especially if people are being hurt, but I do see why some people feel it is necessary. 

Some people are evil in the sense that they have absolutely no regard for others. Note that I am not using the word, "evil", in the typical understanding of good and evil or right and wrong. As long as they thrive, it doesn't matter one bit if everyone else suffers. Sometimes these people are very obvious about their disregard for others. Others hide it. Some hide it so well, they appear altruistic on the outside, but actually have evil core. It might not be obvious in their look or in their speech, but if you look closely at their actions, you may be able to catch a glimpse of it. Sometimes, it's very obvious to some, but not to others. 

So, here's a question. Are billionaires evil? This obviously depends on your definition of the word evil, but, let's phrase it another way: do billionaires have an extreme lack of regard for others? I would say for the most part, yes! A billion dollars is a staggering amount of money. Hundred (100), thousand (1,000), million (1,000,000), billion (1,000,000,000), trillion (1,000,000,000,000). These are just words. If you have a hard time grasping just how much larger one billion is compared to a million, here's a nice visual drawn by yours truly. I know, I should have been an artist. If you stack $100 dollar bills, 1 million dollars will be about 5 feet tall. A billion dollars will stack up to the height of the tallest building in the world. $1 trillion would reach outer space. The drawing is not to scale, so the $ 1 billion is even taller. 

$1 million is the amount of money many people work their entire lives to acquire so that they can retire comfortably say around the age of 65. Sadly, most of us aren't able to even do that. There are about 2000 billionaires worldwide. Because they have such vast amounts of money, this gives them power. Because they have such a vast percentage of wealth, this means A LOT less for everyone else. $1 trillion is an obscene amount of money for any one person to have. I think it's pretty obvious they have an extreme disregard for everyone else. They live like kings and queens while the large percentage of the world's population suffers. 

My guess is that unregulated capitalism is the cause of the world's billionaires. Without any rules or laws in place set by the government, people can continue to gain wealth at an exponential rate like Jeff Bezos, the CEO and creator of Amazon whose net worth is about 200 billion dollars. He may be on track to be the world's first trillionaire. As disturbing as this is, I find it even more disturbing that people continue to buy products on Amazon. Some billionaires give some of their money away to charities, but it's not enough. We need a wealth tax. Period. These people are forever greedy and selfish. Because we can't expect them to change, the government needs to step in. Sadly, many people in government are affiliated with these billionaires, so government may not do a thing. 

Well, that was a rant and a half. Now, getting back to what I originally wanted to discuss... humans, despite being 99.99% the same genetically, how different and animal-like they are. Nature and nurture are contributing factors. Location and environment is another factor. For example, in Japan the collective good is emphasized as important. In America, it's a free for all, everyone for themselves. Japan, Canada, and several others countries have excellent country-wide government-funded healthcare. Have a major accident in one of these countries? Your bank account is fine. Have that same accident in the US? You could go bankrupt. In the US, your healthcare is tied to your job. Lose your job, lose your insurance. The government doesn't care about you. 

In general (unless we're talking about family), other people don't care about you. That is, unless you can do something useful for them. Does it seem like your boss at work cares about you? Probably. Do they actually care about you? No, probably not. They only care about how good you are at your job. If you don't provide any value, people won't care if you disappear off the face of the earth tomorrow. That's reality. That's what we are. For the most part. There are humans who do care for others who have no requirement that the other person do anything of value for them. You've heard of a parent's unrequited love for their child. Some parents don't have this, but I would say most do. A child can do absolutely nothing of value for the parent, yet the parent will always care deeply for them and are willing to do anything for them.

There are some people who have unrequited compassion for non-family members. Have you ever seen someone give money to a homeless person? These people are obviously expecting nothing in return. They feel for the less fortunate. They care. I would argue that this action makes them feel good, so they are actually getting something in return - but not from the other person directly. The same applies to people who give a portion of  their salary or time to charity or those who volunteer as soup kitchens. I like to think of these people as angels on earth. But, there aren't enough of them. And not enough of them are wealthy or in positions of power.

We have to get more of these angels on earth in power to shift the balance of empathy and selfishness. To do that, we all need to vote. In every single election we have the ability to vote in. Get more involved in politics. Research all the candidates. Vote for people you like and share common interests in. Otherwise we're letting selfish people rule our country and write our laws. Your government will not automatically care about you. People are animals. Do not expect one human in power to care for another simply because they are the same species. The government is a group of humans. If that group of humans is filled with uncompassionate people, the rest of us are doomed. 

Cancel Culture

I'm 34 years old. I grew up in the time of the original Power Rangers. I had a black and white Gameboy the size and shape of a brick. I'm a bit out of touch when it comes to recent culture and trends. I typically live under a rock when it comes to social media and new-age terms and movements like, 'cancel culture' and being 'woke'. I spent the majority of my life living under a rock - both intentionally and unintentionally... but that's a story for another time.

As I'm becoming more interested and involved with politics (regret not being involved earlier), I realize these things matter and I need to learn about them.

Dictionary.com definition of cancel culture:

"Cancel culture refers to the popular practice of withdrawing support for (canceling) public figures and companies after they have done or said something considered objectionable or offensive. Cancel culture is generally discussed as being performed on social media in the form of group shaming."

It sounds like a form of Boycott (link to my blog on the subject). I actively participate in a several long-term boycotts of certain companies that I have philosophical differences with. Cancel culture sounds like a boycott of people and even just one individual. However, a big issue that I am discovering is that people are 'cancelling' people sometimes without much proof or for a silly reason such as an insignificant difference of opinion. General Boycotting also has this issue, but I feel it's more prevalent with cancel culture because of social media and the all too easy spread of disinformation. 

Boycotts can be very effective given enough people are on board. Typically they start small and then gain momentum. This is the same process for cancelling someone, except it likely occurs very fast. The problem is that it often happens prematurely. Say a popular music artist is accused of sexual assault. They might then immediately 'cancelled' by large swarms of people. The judgement happens before the truth is out. 'Innocent until proven guilty' is often thrown out of the window. 

It could be a smaller offense. You could give provide an opinion that might offend someone and heavy backlash could follow given it reaches enough people. Boycotting and cancelling are a form of social justice. The people have the power to choose to support or ignore certain people, groups, companies without the need for legal litigation. People like to feel like they are a part of something. They like to feel like they are making a difference. If they hop on a particular bandwagon that is boycotting someone, they feel like they've done something important. But have they done their research?

I think this ties into social media induced A.D.D. Scrolling through endless streams of media posts provides us with an endless dose happiness-inducing chemicals in our brain. By latching on to a movement such as a cancellation, we feel even better. This allows us to feel like activists. It's fast and easy. But is it right? Is it fair? Are we judging too quickly? Our attention deficit prevents us from looking too deep into the actual issue. Doing any kind of significant research is probably not very fun, so our happiness-hungry brains quickly move onto a different topic.

To cancel something or someone is just another term for Boycotting them. It's just a modern, more hip term. It's a new branding. In with the new, out with the old like a new trendy pair of jeans. Maybe it'll be called something else in a few years. It's Boycotting brought to the world of social media and public shaming. You hop on a cancel train and all of a sudden you feel 'woke' and informed and aware of the problems in the world and by being on the train with a host of others, you feel you are making a difference.

I am all for Boycotting. Since cancel culture is Boycotting with a new label, I'm in favor of it. But, people need to do their research before committing to something. You cannot judge too quickly. The world is a complicated place. Your actions have consequences. If you are going to publicly shame someone, you better make sure aware of the facts. The world is not black and white. 

Resources:

Excellent (warning: very long) speech on 'wokeness':

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sni7ghqHBJw

HuffPost UK video explanation of cancel culture:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bisnMOujqFs

Harvard professor against issues with cancel culture:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-erKC_TT9dQ

Barack Obama on 'call-out culture' and being 'woke':

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaHLd8de6nM

Luxury, Vanity, Excess, Greed

[I drive a $90,000 Range Rover to get a $5 Starbucks coffee every day.
When I'm going out on the town, I can tell time with my $8,000 Rolex.
All other days I'll use my Apple watch because I need yet another screen in front my my face.
I've got the latest flagship top-end $1200 iPhone with the earpods that make me look hip.

The latest $3,000 Macbook Pro laptop to browse Facebook.
I carry my things in my $2,000 Louis Vuitton hand bag.
I have a 6 bedroom house, 1 vacation cottage, 3 cars, and 1 boat.... because why not?

I've made it. I've achieved success.
I worked hard. I deserve all of this.
I deserve to be happy. I'm happy....

Do I need all this? No.
But, I wanted it. And I can afford it.
You only live once.
I'm in control. I have the power.
I determine my own fate, my own happiness.]

Why do these luxury items exist?
Because people have the surplus money to afford them.
Because these luxury items seem superior to similar products. People prefer superior items.
People like to feel special. They like to treat themselves.
To some, these products give the feeling of accomplishment and status.

Often the luxury product is not superior. Often it's just a vanity item. Like a Rolex.
A Rolex is just a watch. But it is made out of a 'precious' metal like gold.
Gold is 'special' because it's relatively rare on earth and people seem like the look of it.
Being made out of gold doesn't add any benefit to the item's purpose.

Let's talk about cars. Who really needs a Range Rover? For the price, you think it either has the ability to fly or has the ability to convert to a boat. Who really needs a Lexus or a BMW, for that matter? They may have a slightly more comfortable interior (leather?), but the overall purpose of the vehicle is not extended. It gets you from point A to point B. It doesn't even necessarily last longer. In fact, I believe cheaper vehicles tend to have a higher reliability. It may even go faster, but what's the point when there are speed limits?

Why do you need a fancy and expensive hand bag? Why not get one less than half the price? It serves the same purpose. Sure, maybe you can afford it. Good for you. But, have you ever stopped to consider that extra $ could be used for something better?

Do you really need a Macbook Pro to only browse Facebook and write emails? Do you even need an Apple product? Perhaps a Chromebook would do. (I agree there are some who can actually take advantage of this product like actual developers)

Imagine all you could do with the extra money you save by not buying unnecessary luxury items.

Why are all these items so desired? Perhaps it's brainwashing. Gold is just a yellow-ish metal. Diamond is just a super hard and sparkly rock. A Range Rover is just a motor vehicle. Starbucks is just a coffee. You can make your own for a fraction of the price.

Do you really need to feel superior to others? Is it that important? Do you really need these things in order to feel accomplished?

What about your neighbor Joe who is struggling? He goes to work every day. He works 2 jobs in fact. He's not lazy. He's just not as fortunate as you. He seems happy, though when you talk to him. But you can tell he's worn out. He deserves a break, but he won't get one. He doesn't make enough money at one job to pay his rent.

But, you can afford a $500 hand bag. And a $90,000 vehicle. And a $5 coffee every day which comes to 365 * $5 = $1,825 for the year for coffee.

This is how it is. Some are more fortunate than others. You're okay with it apparently. You continue your habits knowing there are many others just like your neighbor Joe. Your poor neighbor Joe.

Your poor neighbor Joe..

Criminal Justice

First off I would like to thank Jennifer, the author of the blog Cozy Toes for her recommendations. The lecture by Daniel C. Dennett led me to a cute little comic strip that illustrates the issue with free will.

The Dilbert comic along with parts of the lecture left me wondering about the law and criminal justice. Being inherently passive, I've never been too concerned about the law. I figure if I'm content enough with the way things are, there's really no reason for me to get involved. I do watch the news and read up on articles from time to time, but it's just not all that interesting to me.

I've always been very humble in the fact that I could never really know anything for sure. Terms such as right, wrong, good, evil, and morality have meant nothing more to me than just words whose meanings were fabricated and linked to religions and other belief systems. So naturally I've never felt any sort of need to become involved with politics. From my point of view, many politicians or even folks who join the police force or organizations such as the FBI are very passionate people who have a strong sense of what they believe to be right and wrong.

It is for this very reason I could never be a cop, or a judge for that matter. I was watching COPS on television a few weeks ago and they were setting up traps for prostitutes. An undercover cop would pose a civilian who would lure women into their car and eventually get them to name their price. It's at this point when she is arrested. I was just sitting there wondering what was going through these people's minds. Maybe something along the lines of, "yes, we've successfully captured another dirty hooker, we did the right thing" or "this scum is polluting our society, she deserves to be behind bars", or maybe "whoohoo, I did my job, I will most certainly get a raise for this". I felt bad for the woman. I did some light research on the subject, but I could find nothing substantial to convince me that prostitution should be illegal.

While I may disagree with many people's beliefs, I won't deny that in order to live peacefully, we need some sort of government. We then also need people to enforce the laws instituted, no matter their personal beliefs. In my early teenage years I used to go around spray-painting various objects with the symbol for anarchy. I didn't quite grasp the full implications of such a society, but I realized that whatever it was, it would be fair. A free for all, survival of the fittest, as described by one of the villains from The Dark Knight (can't remember if it was the Joker or Two-Face).

So getting back to what I originally planned on discussing, the issue of free will and the law, in regards to how we should treat criminals. In the first part of his lecture, Dennett describes how psychologists suggest how new discoveries in neuroscience will change the way we treat criminals. This puzzles me a bit. I'm not exactly sure how the law treats criminals today, but in my opinion, our understanding of consciousness and free will should not alter the punishment. If you break the law, regardless of whether or not you had the capacity of choosing between one option or another, you will be dealt with accordingly. If you break the law, you are liable to do it again.

Thinking about the Dilbert comic, the little dog questions our ability to 'blame' people for their actions with the idea that all of our actions are controlled by our brain. This somehow suggests that the brain and the person are separate entities. Blame the person. Blame the brain. They are one in the same. And I think that pretty wraps up what I wanted to get across. I meant for this to be a short post.

Look what Dilbert does to me!

Fading Attraction

Yet another interesting conversation with my psychology-major friend leaves me feeling somewhat conflicted. We were talking about past relationships and whether or not people kept in touch after a break-up. I ask her if she talks to her ex-boyfriends at all, and she says no for the most part. Being very naive on the subject, I couldn't wrap my head around why. She then tells me about a psychology study that suggests that after about three years, a certain sort of attractiveness for another fades. From what she tells me, this has been linked to why most marriages fail after an average of three years. So according to this study, even if you date someone for a few years, break up, wait three years for the feelings to go away, you are able to forget about this person altogether. Perhaps this is the reason they say, 'time heals all wounds'. Just wait three years, and just like that you rid yourself of the pain and longing for another. But is it that simple? I suppose its just the way she told me, but from her tone it sounded like an absolute. And if you've read any of my earlier blogs, you'll notice that absolutes and I don't get along very well.

I wouldn't say it's impossible, but highly situational. People change, both physically and mentally. So I suppose it's not hard to believe how attractiveness would also change. But what really gets me is people's ability to cast away experiences and memories so easily. My cynical view leads me to believe that all people really care about is the here and now. The past is the past, who can hold my attention today? Then again I have a pretty limited view and understanding of my peers. Maybe people do silently cry in the rain.

Fragmented Life

As a continuation from my last blog...my life is not without blots of ink. I can surely remember events that took place before reading The Catcher in the Rye. For example the time I jumped down an entire flight of stairs after waking up from a recurring nightmare of mine or the time I freaked out when I let a bird into the house. These major events have permanently imprinted themselves in my brain. Not only were they riveting moments, but I also spent a lot of time thinking about them afterward: the act of memorization. Everything following or preceding these events though are more or less a blur.

It is interesting though because unless you have some way to confirm these memories, they may not have happened at all. They may have just been dreams you had that you have convinced yourself took place in real life. I think the brain has a reduced ability to distinguish dream from reality of events that occurred years prior. I remember reading an old diary several months ago and being yet again surprised at the contents. I was reading something I swear I had dreamed instead of actually experiencing. Unfortunately I have no way of confirming any of it. It's not all that important to me to confirm my past though. Dreams, reality... they both are playing a part in who I am, so why does it matter that I sometimes can't tell the difference.

After descending from the attic of old memories with a load of junk, I joined my family for dinner and explained to them why I was up there for so long. My mother then shared with me that one of her patients at work experiences short-term memory loss. Sure enough, that's exactly what I dreamt about that night. Although it wasn't inherently scary, I'd consider it a nightmare - as it is one of my greatest fears. It was an extremely fragmented dream. I would experience something and black out shortly thereafter, and almost as if waking up from a dream I would open my eyes and realize something just happened but not remembering what. This would go indefinitely until I actually woke up for real. This is exactly what happened with my book, I remember that I read it and I believe that I even liked it, but I have no idea what it's about. That's the scary part: remembering you forgot something. It's pretty incredible what your mind can fabricate while dreaming and its ability to cast the experience into oblivion.

Coming to the realization that life is both fragmented and fleeting, I can find comfort my own ability to both grasp and maintain the sense of me, regardless of where it came from. Pen in hand, inherent fear and all, I will let the ink run its course.