Living on the Edge

In response to my last entry, which was an eternity ago, I came across a quote from the movie James Bond Die Another Day. I couldn't remember the exact wording, so I altered it a bit: By living on the edge, we know who we truly are.

I am still not living on the edge. Actually, I'm still still in the same boat. I have yet to take that leap. On top of that, I'm currently sampling a band called The Shins, which puts me in somewhat of a carefree mood.

I recently filled out a survey one of my sisters posted, and one of the questions asked : "what is one thing you want to happen in 2007?". My answer was the word "passion". As it may appear, I did not have a relationship in mind. I was thinking about my studies. One day I glanced down at my floor and noticed my textbooks haphazardly shoved underneath by bed. I pondered to myself, "If I am person of science, logic, and philosophy, why am I not treating these books as my bible?". I realized that I am not passionate about anything other than perhaps compulsive downloading.

I understand what needs to happen, yet I just sit back and apathetically bob my head to the sound of The Shins everyday.

What better song to hear now, Sleeping Lessons....at 3:00 a.m....while watching the snowflakes fall passed my window....so blissfully....wondering what tomorrow will bring....

Fear of Failure

I generally don't fear anything. This is what I have lead myself to believe, until recently. There has been an underlying fear that I have chosen to ignore. I have come to realize that in order for me to succeed, I must overcome it.

To be more specific, I only fear failure if I have truly given it my all. I suppose it's a fear of testing my potential. I couldn't imagine how I would feel if all of my efforts yielded meager results. My excuse so far has been the fact that I don't apply myself. I fear what might happen if I actually do. I've been avoiding it so far.

No matter what my limits may be, I need to test them, examine them, experiment with them, and finally embrace them.

Motivation + Inspiration

So here I am sitting on a huge pile of work at two o'clock in the morning carrying out my usual activities of procrastination. I eventually resort to a seemingly endless gaze of my desktop, head in hand, waiting for some inspirational hand to pop out of my notebook screen to smack me in the face. No such luck. Despite my purposeful placement of the drawing I find most inspirational, I remain unmotivated. It seems as though motivation and inspiration are separate entities. If something I admire to the highest degree doesn't motivate me, what will?

Something has to change. I don't know what, but I hope it happens soon.

"College Hoodie" Follow Up

During one day at work this guy walked in wearing a t-shirt sporting the text: "community college". I was halfway in between the back room and the main floor, so one step to my left and I was free to laugh my ass off. I am so going to purchase that shirt. I'm also getting the shirt that just says "college", I think they're hilarious.

Here are a couple random quotes I stumbled over during a random search:

"Are you sick of every Tom, Dick, and Shaniqua with a "College" shirt on? Most of the people we've seen with those on wouldn't be fit to hold John Belushi's vomit bucket. Show'em your sense of humor, and career ambition to become an electrician, with this "Community College" shirt.



How many highschool kids wear Belushi's shirt? Tons ... but where are all the big fat party animals? They're in community college learning to be plumbers, locksmiths, meth engineers and more. With our specialized program, you too can earn a degree in partying down, while showing your thrifty side (in the form of a t-shirt). Throw the shirt on, grab some fellow students and get to the party. Before you know it, you'll be doing tequila shots with that grouchy 50 year-old classmate who got laid off from the plant."

- Source

....and

"A navy blue t-shirt with block lettering that reads "College". Great for college students, and those who don't subscribe to that whole higher education philosophy. 100% cotton."

-Source

Which leads me to the question: what exactly is "higher education"?

I would guestimate that even though my school is geared toward "higher education", as to say: a continuation from high school, only about ten percent of the students are actually enrolled and participating in the effort.

Hopefully that makes sense.

Singin' in the Rain

Actually, I was humming, back and forth from my dorm room to the cafeteria. Humming the song "For Real" by Okkervil River, wishing someone would tackle me from behind, face first into the puddle-blotched sidewalk.

Music video of my new favorite song: Black Sheep Boy by Okkervil River

Don't forget to vote!

I really don't understand why so many people are encouraging everyone to vote. You may be thinking, "well, voting is a good thing! We should take advantage of our democratic privileges". As I see it, most people are ignorant in the area of politics and therefore should not vote. Most people are more interested in who won the last patriots game than how many people just died in Iraq. You shouldn't even be allowed to vote unless you know all or most of the facts. I would guess that fifty percent or more of the folks who voted today did so with very little knowledge. Here's my assumption breakdown: 10% made intelligent decisions based on the facts presented to them, 40-50% just voted with their designated party or with who their parents voted for, 25% voted based on one or more allegations they might have heard (let it be a false promise or statistic), and 15% voted just because they heard Ben Afflec or some other giant figure tell them to vote.

I hate to sound pompous, but I probably know more than most people do and I didn't vote. Shit, I watch c-span all the time and I also read the paper. I even watched two of the debates by Liberman and Lemont. I still had no idea who to vote for.

My mother once said that you should have to take a test before you can give birth. I think you should have to take a test before you're able to a lot of things.

Don't you agree?

College Hoodie

Since I've been living here on campus at CCSU I've noticed that at on any given day, at least thirty to forty percent of the students walking around are wearing a CCSU hoodie or shirt of some sort. Since this is an everyday observation, I would guess that most of the school's population owns at least one piece of clothing imprinted with the ccsu emblem. What I'm trying to figure out is why. Why do students feel the the need to display their school's clothing, especially while on campus? It's almost like a school uniform or something. It's either an issue of pride, sentimental value, fitting in, or a mixture of the three. The reasoning seems to be pretty cut and dry, but the first two reasons have conflicting descriptions: 1) Freshman wear the clothing. What do they have to be proud of? It's not even that hard of a school to get in to. 2) If something has sentimental value, it generally isn't used/worn very often. The third reason however is valid, but is a pretty dumb reason.

Anyway, I'm probably not making much sense; I tend to over think many things. I probably will end up buying a ccsu hoodie, but not until I've established myself here. I want something other than a diploma and degree to remember my years here, something of sentimental value that I will not proudly display every day.

Here's a perfect portrayal of the point I'm trying to get across.

Taken from National Lampoon's Animal House.