Friendship: Part II

When I look at or hear this word spoken, I get a very soft and warm feeling at my core. It occurs regardless of whether or not I have any friends in my life. This happens because of the way I interpret the meaning of the word. Not everyone will have the same reaction as me. While I do agree that there are varying degrees of what a friend is, I feel that the actual embodiment of my interpretation of the word is very precious.

I made a post a while back about performance-based relationships. I argued that friendships were performance based. I don't know if I necessarily believe this anymore. While I think there are many people who interpret the word differently than I do who have performance-based friendships; the essence of what a friend is to me, is not at all performance-based. Much how I believe that love for a family member is unrequited, the effort and care you put in to a friendship is very much the same.

It is a bit of a coincidence, but now that I think about it - a manga that I follow consists of a 'friendship' that is a bit one sided. In a nutshell, one of the two boys cares very much about the other - and the other could not care less. The connection I'm making here is that once someone enters your life and makes a significant enough impact on you personally, this person becomes very important to you. In essence this person becomes a friend to you. The importance of this person will never go away. You will always hold them in the highest regard. You will always care about this person. No matter what.

Now, I realize people may change - and eventually drift apart somewhat. But, I think that real friends will never lose contact. The connections that they made in the past will always be important. Unfortunately, I also think that friendships can be one sided. But I think that once you understand and accept the ins and outs of human interpersonal relationships, you can cope with having a one-sided friendship.

I personally think that true two way friendships are actually quite rare. If you have one, consider yourself very lucky. I am making a huge guess here, but I would say that only 1 in 10 people have a true two way friendship in their lifetime that is not performance based.

Imagine a person who will call you just to see that you are doing well. A person who is not fickle. Someone who will not ignore you for any reason. Someone who will do whatever they can to help you. A person you can call and confide in. Someone you can always fall back on. Someone who is not curious, but actually cares about you. A strong and reliable connection you will never lose in this crazy world of ours.

This is what a friend is to me.