Truth Matters

"If truth doesn't matter, we're lost" - Adam Schiff during president Trump's impeachment trial.

Truth has always mattered to me. The biggest reason I majored in mathematics and minored in philosophy during my undergrad is that they are both based purely in logic, the universal truth. Pure logic is truth in its most basic form. Mathematics is applied logic and it is true no matter what. No matter who you are. No matter where you are. It's one of the very few things we can truly know for sure. I found and still find comfort in this pure logic and pure truth. When it comes to the rest of the world however, it's a little bit harder to discern the truth.

Truth matters. If it didn't, our decision making process would break down. Humans (those who are sane) make decisions based on what we perceive to be true. We take this perceived truth and then judge or act based on what feels 'right'. 

Most of the time we can't use pure logic to figure out if something is true or not. This is why we need science and statistics. But, unless you're an expert in the field in which something has been proven scientifically, you may not understand the reasoning for something being a scientifically fact. In this case, you likely need to rely on the experts to tell you what the truth is. This is where trust comes in. Trust of an expert is therefore required in order for you to make a proper decision.

Humans who are selfish may choose to spread lies and misinformation and claim it as truth. The more popularity you have, the more likely people are to believe you. It doesn't matter that you aren't an expert. The same goes for something you respect or look up to, such as a parent. If you mother or father claims to know a truth, you are likely to believe them. 

Truth is a funny thing. If it it is pure logic or Math, it is always true. Many other things that are true today may not be true tomorrow. This is why it's important to always question the supposed truth. 

When talking about truth, I always think about the famous line from A Few Good Men when Jack Nicholson's character shouts, "You can't handle the truth!!". Sadly, I feel this is the case sometimes. Some people cannot handle certain truths. Sometimes, despite evidence and sound proof refuse to believe what's true. Often, the truth is very inconvenient. 

An Inconvenient Truth is a documentary about climate change. The sad truth is that humans are a huge cause of the abnormal increase in global warming. It's inconvenient because in order to fix it, we need to make dramatic changes. Many of us don't like much change, so we try to shield ourselves from the truth, hoping it will change if we wait long enough.

Currently, we have politicians spreading large amounts of misinformation and either creating or bolstering current conspiracy theories without any personal consequences. Ironically it seems that the people who are complaining the most about so called, 'fake news' are the ones who are spewing the fake facts. Any normal person at any normal job would immediately be fired for such a lack of respect for the truth.

So, what's true and what's not? Unfortunately it's not often easy to determine. You need to rely on 'trustworthy' news sources. Who do you trust? 

I feel many people are more trusting in general than they should be. Just because someone is in a position of power doesn't mean they are always telling the truth. Just because someone is speaking on national television doesn't mean what they are saying is true. Sadly, even if they have proper credentials such as a PhD, you still need to be careful. 

Many of our parents lied to us about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. We believe they existed because our parents said they did. Some of us worked this out for ourselves, but some people believed up until the point their parents broke the news. If Santa and the Easter bunny aren't real, what about God? This is what I expected my parents to reveal to me next. Hey guess what kids? God isn't real either! This never happened, but I worked it out for myself. My parents still believe in God, I think. I think it' because their parents believed in God and their parents before them. If you trust someone, you believe anything they tell you (for the most part). 

No matter how confident someone may seem when they make a claim, you should not believe them without proof or sound argument. This is what scares me about (some) religious people. They believe in something without any proof. What's preventing them from believing other things without proof? Some religious folks are able to separate their faith or religion from rational thinking, but many are not.

Ideally, we'd have an independent fact-checking agency. Imagine if politicians were called out for telling lies during televised debates? I think a large problem however is, how would you prevent this agency from becoming corrupted? We're supposed to be able to trust our government, but government officials also lie to us. 

I don't know what the solution is, but I think I want to spend the rest of my life trying to find one. 

Resources:

FiveThirtyEight article on how Americans are fed believable falsehoods:

https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/americans-were-primed-to-believe-the-current-onslaught-of-disinformation/

BuzzFeed fact-checking:

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/janelytvynenko/election-rumors-debunked 

Christian Science Monitor tips on stopping misinformation:

https://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Politics/2020/1103/Online-misinformation-is-rampant.-Four-tips-on-stopping-it

Adam Schiff's speech during President Trump's impeachment trial:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa8s4G_7PQk

Short version within NYT:

https://www.nytimes.com/video/us/100000006940070/schiff-impeachment-truth.html

Retirement

What do you think of when you hear the word, 'retirement'?

Spending every day on the beach for the rest of your life?

Lounging on the couch all day watching TV?

Traveling the world with no obligations?

It's probably different for everyone. But, I think most people want to be able to retire. To quit their full-time job and enjoy free time in their golden years any way they see fit. For a lot of us, it's something you work toward your whole life. The pinnacle of your life. The final milezone. I think we should all think about retirement a bit more. If you're young you may even put off thinking bout it until you're in  your forties. Really, you need to be thinking about it in your twenties. You need to have a plan, or else you may need to work a full-time job for the rest of your life. If that's what you want, that's fine - I'm not here to judge.

My coworker just recently passed away at the age of 62. It was sudden and unexpected. Pancreas cancer. One of the worst kinds of cancers. She was looking forward to retirement. Sadly, that was taken away from her. 

This got me thinking about the age of retirement. It's totally up to you and your circumstances when you'd like to retire. But, the magical age seems to be 65. At this age, you get full Social Security benefits. This threshold will increase as lifetime expectancies rise. Right now the average age of death for a male in the US somewhere between 74 and 77. For Females, it's a bit higher, between 78 and 81. But, these are just averages - also known as expected value. Obviously, you can die before this age or even after this age. A statistical graph (called a histogram) of age of death is shown below.

There are many factors that determine our lifespan - including genetics and lifestyle choices. It is quite difficult to say how long you will live, therefore it's fairly reasonable to plan for the average age. If you retire at age 65, you'd have 10 to 15 years of retirement. 10 golden years. That seems like enough time, right? Maybe. The other thing people may not consider is quality of life toward the end of retirement. Your body continues to break down. Most things, including you, will fail at some point.

I work at an aerospace company that designs and manufactures aircraft engines. We design engine parts to last a certain amount of time. In many cases, we'd like for them to last as long as possible, but nothing lasts forever, given constant wear and tear. We need to determine the life of major parts of the engine and replace them after they have reached that threshold. This life and threshold is not the average life of the particular part. If we imagine the engine part as a human, the threshold we limit the part to would not be 65 years. Rather, it would be about 45 years. Why? Because we don't want to risk the part failing during a flight. This risk is in the form of a probability. Looking at the graph above, you can tell  that the probability of failing before 45 years is quite low. 

So, you may end up in one of two scenarios:

Dying young: "I wish I had lived more when I was younger"

Living long: "I wish I had saved more when I was younger"

In my opinion, you really need to strike a balance. Enjoy your life while you're young while saving for retirement. Sadly, I know there are many who aren't able to do either, let alone one of these things. Given the probability of dying and quality of life when I'm much older, ideally I'd like to retire 10 years earlier than the average retirement age of 65. In order to do this, I need to have a strict budget and make sure to plan accordingly. I'm lucky enough, as of now, to be able to achieve financial independence by this age while still being able to enjoy life right now.

TEDx talk on retirement:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSHNDyinZSQ&ab_channel=TEDxTalks

Lifespan data:

https://www.researchgate.net/figure/The-histograms-of-life-span-distribution-for-a-4-760-deceased-genotyped-and_fig1_224848174

https://www.researchgate.net/figure/Histogram-of-estimated-number-of-deaths-per-one-year-age-intervals-Probability-density_fig2_281513046

Social Security benefits:

https://www.ssa.gov/pressoffice/IncRetAge.html#:~:text=The%20original%20Social%20Security%20Act,increasing%20the%20normal%20retirement%20age.

Autumn in New England

 

I've been living in New England for most of my life. Currently I live in Boston, the largest city in New England. I think I would like to experience living elsewhere, but I can't say I have much to complain about. Sure, shoveling snow can be annoying, but on average it's really only required a handful of times per year. Yes, it gets cold in the Winter and hot in the Summer - but the extremes don't last very long. You get to experience each distinct season. I think it's beneficial to your mental health to experience these types of changes. How boring would it be if the trees always looked the same? When the cool autumn air greets you in the morning, it's very nostalgic and it heightens your senses. It somehow gives me a feeling of joy and hope. The excitement of the year's first snowfall. The first day you're able to wear shorts in the late Spring gives me motivation to explore.

I love the asymmetrical coloring of the leaves -->

I saw this interesting assortment of plants..a bush with jagged green leaves (apparently often consumed with sushi), another one with red leaves, and a bright red flower growing at the base.

<-- Zoomed In

Zoomed Out -->

I love bright orange leaves. They always make me stop in my tracks and admire for a few moments before moving on with my day.

Crossing my fingers for a victory for these two in a few days -->

New England is a set of very blue states. We could definitely afford (and I would encourage) a large migration of liberals/democrats to some purple states like Ohio, Florida, or Iowa. The country as a whole would  be better off. Sadly, these three states aren't very appealing for me personally).

A hospital for women near my apartment. Looks like a mansion or mini castle (note: I love castles).

Lovely sidewalk view -->

Closeup of one of the trees in photo above.

Below 3 photos are from a park right across the street.

Green, red, orange, yellow....pretty!

<-- Along the emerald necklace bike/walk path

Walden Pond, Concord MA -->

The Money Pit

Assuming you have an income, aside from unavoidable taxes, you have the choice on where your money goes. However, if you are not careful, it can seem like your money is disappearing into pit or black hole. Unless you really sit down and write down all your bills and expenses, it's hard to know exactly where you money is going and in what percentage of your total income. This is why you need a budget. 

As I become more financially literate, I wonder why I did not learn this stuff earlier. Why has no one told me about it? Why did I not learn this in school? College?

You start to wonder if there is someone benefiting from me not knowing how to properly manage my finances. By me not being financially independent, others are benefiting. My money goes somewhere if it's not in my pocket afterall. I'm now convinced policy makers and school curriculum makers keep this knowledge out of our hands for their benefit. Someone is actively working to keep others ignorant. 

Imagine if we're all required to learn the basics of investing for retirement in high school or college? How about just basic personal finance? Imagine if we were all educated on how credit cards and credit scores worked? I feel if we were all given this proper education, there might not be such gigantic wealthy inequality in the United States. 

If people really understood where there money was going, how interest rates worked, and how important it was to save money for retirement, people would be in less debt and have a much better financial outlook.

So much critical information is hidden from you. Legally, this information is public. But, the only way you learn something is if you seek it out or if someone teaches it to you.

I'm embarrassed and angry to admit I didn't know the existence and value of an individual retirement account (IRA) until age 35. Knowing about the benefits now, I really wish I started one 10 years ago. I lost out on A LOT of savings.  But, how was I supposed to know? I discovered the existence of IRAs randomly during a conversation with an older coworker. Luckily my employer signs up all of their employees with a 401K plan by default. Besides the 401K I had with my employer, I had no idea there was another retirement/investment vehicle I should have been taking advantage of.

Even then, I didn't know all the details of the 401K. I suppose it's partly my fault for not looking into it, but let's face it, personal finance and saving for retirement is boring! I figured I was young and didn't need to worry about it yet. My first job out of college put me in a fund with a very high expense ratio by default. I didn't discover this until earlier this year. I had no idea I had the option to change this. In retrospect I feel I was somewhat taken advantage of. Luckily my current employer has a very low expense ratio for the default fund.

In addition to the hidden information, there is also a lot of misinformation that spreads. Believe it or not, some people believe that you need to carry a balance on your credit cards in order to build credit. That's crazy! Even more crazy, many people carry balances in general and end up paying astronomical amounts in interest. 

Some misinformation is hard to decipher. You really need to educate yourself and sometimes read between the lines. I often read that many people avoid investing because it's too risky. The thing is, it is risky. But, it's not too risky if you do it right. There's risk involved in most things you do. The fact is, investing over the long term in right funds carries very little risk. Another scary fact is that on the flip side if you don't invest, you're at very high risk of not being able to retire. 

In general I'm pretty disgusted with America's education system. But now, my feelings are stronger. Why are we forced to learn about the Unit Circle and systems of equations, but not how to balance a checkbook? I majored in mathematics in college, so I'm one who appreciates the study of the subject - however most of us will never use the more complex stuff in our lives. If there is a curriculum change in the future for pre-college years, teach up until basic algebra. After that, teach personal finance.

Personal finances should be a required class all high school students need to take before they can graduate. But guess what? Since it's not a requirement, certain wealthy people and corporations are benefiting from our ignorance. Are we set up to fail? It does seem that way. But, if you are ask good questions, do your own research, or be lucky enough to have someone inform you, you may just be okay.

Sources / Additional links 

https://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/jec6tc/dow_jones_falls_410_points_as_covid19_stimulus/

Frames per Second, Blinks per Lifetime

Frames per second, one typical measure of a video capturing device. The more, the better. Video is simply a bunch of sequential pictures (frames) displayed very quickly back to back. The more frames per second you display, the more seamless the video is. 

Here's a simple animation I created in 2005. It's a style called 'stop-motion'.

https://youtu.be/LrogHSFyhtk

This video probably has an average framerate of 6 or so frames per second. It's 30 seconds long, which means this video is comprised of approximately 182 individual photos. I bent the paper clip, took a picture, bent it again, took another picture and so on. As you can tell it's pretty choppy. If I took more photos between each bend of the paperclip, the video would be much smoother. If you've ever seen films from Tim Burton like The Nightmare Before Christmas or Corpse Bride, this is exactly the kind of animation he uses. It's an insane amount of work! In any case..

Lately, my life seems to have been speeding up. It also feels like experiencing less frames per second. I seem to be jumping from one point in my life to the next in the blink of an eye. I feel like I'm missing out on so many moments in between. It's almost as if my body's 'camera' for capturing life has degraded over time as I've gotten older, giving me less frames per second. 

But, is it really age related? Maybe it has something to do with being busy with work and graduate school. Perhaps when I have more free time I won't feel like this. It may also have something to do with constant distractions like social media and smartphone addiction. We pick up our smartphones an unhealthy number of times per day. Checking text messages, social media notifications, refreshing Twitter or Reddit to get that quick shot of dopamine. Before we know it, the day is over. Huge blocks of time disappear. Was it time well spent? Likely not. 

I need to take control of my life's camera. I need to capture all the precious moments that I have. Not only capture those moments, but fill them with meaning. I can't let them just pass by without much notice. I need to create a story. Add color, excitement. Or, simply enjoy the moment, perhaps in form of meditation. Most importantly I need to be there, engaged, living in those moments. I don't want to be distracted by things that ultimately don't matter. 

The other day I caught myself in one of those distracted states that may cause your life to fast-forward. I snapped out of what felt like hypnosis, jumped out of my chair and bolted out of my door and headed up to the roof and spend the next 20 minutes there to observe the city around me, witness the sunset, and snap a few photos while I was there. Afterward, I felt more at peace. More alive. More conscious. 

Appreciate and take advantage of all of moments you have! Grab hold and take control. Take yourself in a different direction. Go for a walk! Go a different route than usual. Go sit on a bench of you've never sit on before. Walk down a street you've never been down. This is a pretty common practice to increase your mental health. Just wander aimlessly:

https://www.mindful.org/aimless-wandering-mindfulness-practice-video/

A similar term for the same technique is flaneuring. Flaneur: an idle man around town. Another is forest bathing.

Another problem I think we have nowadays is technology-induced attention deficit. We can't focus. When we're awake, we go from one topic to the next. Our eyes are constantly looking around, never really focusing on anything for more than a few seconds. Rapid eye movement or REM is what occurs during our deep sleep. REM is good during sleep, but when we're awake we need to make sure to control and slow down our eye's movement. 

There are many methods and techniques to control our focus and mental health and awareness, which include many forms of meditation. What I like to do sometimes is to shut all the lights off and light a candle. All I do is focus on the flickering flame. That's all that matters for the time being. Lose yourself in the flame. Let your mind go blank. Breath deeply. Don't look away. Blink slowly. This might be boring at first, but keep at it and until you feel calm. Life's distractions will try to pull you away. Don't let them. Focus on what matters, which right now is this small manifestation of light energy dancing in the air.

Sources:

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/07/17/536676954/forest-bathing-a-retreat-to-nature-can-boost-immunity-and-mood

https://lifehacker.com/how-and-why-you-should-wander-aimlessly-1845464723

https://www.mindful.org/aimless-wandering-mindfulness-practice-video/

It's Okay To Be Different

Not many of my posts here contain pictures. Here's one with 3 pictures! I captured all of these over the past weekend in Boston. Unusual, but totally acceptable growth patterns. As said in Jurassic Park, "life finds a way". 

This first one is along the Emerald Necklace path, Boston. 

Baby tree decides, 'I want to be an 'S' when I grow up.'

Along a sidewalk in Jamaica Plain, Boston

'I'll just grow here, in this old dead stump... that okay with you?'

Found at one of the entrances that lead to Jamaica Pond in Jamaica Plain, Boston.

'Gravity is a pain... in the bark! That's okay, I've got this.' (FYI: perfectly healthy tree)

My White Privilege

I'm a 34 year old white man. I'm moderately successful and make a pretty decent salary. I worked hard to get where I am. Up until recently, it hadn't occurred to me that I have had a large advantage in life because of the color of my skin. 

Why did it take me so long to realize this? A lot of it has to do with recent events along with the Black Lives Matter movement. Part of the reason is because of my lack of understanding of history. In addition, even though I don't see racism on a day to day basis, it often happens behind the scenes.

Growing up I didn't have many friends. Maybe a handful here and there through grade school. Three of them were black. Actually, I think my very first friend was black. This was in Alaska. My father was in the army, so we did a fair amount of traveling. We eventually settled in New England, which is where most of our family was. 

Now in New England, I started elementary school at a mostly white school from grades 1-2. Then we moved again, but not far. Starting in third grade in a different elementary school, my best friend was black. His name was Marques. I'm not entirely sure how the relationship started. I was always very quiet and reserved. I think he's one of the only kids who would talk to me. Perhaps I was the only other kid who  would talk to him. He remained by best friend until middle school. We ate lunch and spent recess together. We even played baseball together on the same team for a season in Little League. 

I also had another (black) friend later on by the name of Jesse which began when I stood up for him on the school bus after school. Some other kids were teasing him. Jesse was the Steve Urkel type, so he was constantly being picked on. After elementary school ended, things changed. We were no longer in the same classroom and naturally grew apart. From middle school on, I was essentially a loner. I had a hard time making friends.  Marques and I interacted a little bit in Middle and High school, but not much. The last time I saw Marques was actually in College much later on. We randomly ran into each other and chatted very briefly and then went on with our lives. 

Later on in high school I had a few friends, one of which was my second cousin (half white/hispanic). Another was an Italian boy who lived down the street from me. I was sort of adopted into a small group of skateboarders, all of whom were white. We listened to bands like Slipknot and Rage Against the Machine. We did stupid and silly things around town like mimic the members of Jackass, driving each other in shopping carts and launching into big bushes. Even though I spent a significant amount of time with these kids, I never really felt close to them. There were never really any deep or meaningful conversations. I drifted away from these people as well eventually a few years after high school. 

Then in college, I settled on mathematics for my major. My classes were 95% white students and professors. I stumbled upon an engineering job after that. At the company, I could count the number of black employees on one hand. A good number of  Asian/Indian. Some hispanic. Mostly white. I would say, 85% white. The breakdown should reflect that of the state. See graph at top for state of CT where my company is. E.g. if my company had 100 employees, at least 11 of them (or more) should be black. 

I never thought twice about it. But, it's likely the case that I was given preference, not for my qualifications, but for my white skin. I have never seen this happen first-hand because I have never been in a management or HR position, but I'm convinced that this type of discrimination happens. And it's not just at work. It's anywhere I go. People will treat me better and show me more respect because I am white. That's a gigantic advantage in life to have. 

I never thought much about racism because I never experienced it. I never even witnessed it. My family, at least on the surface weren't visibly racist. I was raised to treat everyone with respect. I had several black friends growing up. My high school was at most 50% white. I grew up among a mixed bag of people. Little did I know that society viewed me as more valuable than my non-white classmates.

To be honest, I was never much interested in history growing up. I knew that human slaves existed and I knew slavery was abolished. Therefore, everything was fine. The playing field was now level. Right? WRONG. It never occured to me just how unfair things still were. And still are. It has never been a level and fair playing field. Part of the reason is because of unregulated capitalism throughout the world. Whites had a huge head start in terms of property and wealth. After slavery was abolished, the only people who were starting from the ground up were former slaves. With such a large head start, how would they ever be able catch up in society? It would be one thing if in addition to the abolishment of slavery, racism could be turned off like a light switch. Sadly that was not the case. BUT, even if it was the case and racism didn't exist, having to start at such a low level of society - and a capitalistic one at that, is an almost impossible hurdle.

White privilege has been ingrained in our society ever since europeans came to America. White settlers felt entitled to this land and stripped it away from the Native Americans. They felt superior to those who had a darker skin color. They completely took over the land, largely by force. Later on they purchased and brought slaves over to America and forced them to do their bidding, to allow the lives of White people to be cozy and comfortable. This sense of entitlement and privilege never faded away. Once the whites were in power, they hoarded that power. The whites had children and raised their children with the same values they had. In addition, these children inherited their parent's wealth. Being wealthy from the get go puts you in a different mindset from those who have to work hard to accumulate wealth. It makes you feel superior and entitled. Most wealthy folks are white, hence the white privilege gets perpetuated. 

I was recently called a racist. This came from a random email through my school email from another student. I was one of hundreds of graduate students she included in the email. She was on a mission, a tirade some would say. She was calling everyone a racist. What she really meant (in my view), was that we were all participants in a systematic racist country. I am not a racist, at least in the conventional definition of the word. However, I admit I am an unwitting participant in this systematic racist country. I have a privilege that I shouldn't have. Indeed, since I am not part of the solution, I am part of the problem.

Society has been white-washed throughout the years, a sort of brainwashing in which I succumbed to. There used to be a song I used to hear all the time on the radio called, 'Fast Car' by Tracy Chapman. This was a fantastic song. It always drew me in and gave me chills. Just recently, in the year 2020 did I find out the artist is a black woman. I always assumed it was a white woman! I am so ashamed and embarrassed. Another band I used to listen to is Sevendust. I had no idea the lead singer was black! What is wrong with me? Why did I assume they were all white? Maybe it's because all the other bands I listened to had white-only members. But, I think there's a deeper underlying cause for my assumption - and that is systematic racism. 

Tracy Chapman - Fast Car: https://youtu.be/AIOAlaACuv4

Sevendust - Dirty: https://youtu.be/8avjkSoRSbk

Earth, Wind & Fire - September: https://youtu.be/Gs069dndIYk

Now that I'm finally aware of systematic racism and my privilege as a white person, I want to take action. The first thing I can and should do is further educate myself. Recently I watched a historic dramatization of the life of Harriet Tubman on HBO. INCREDIBLE. Blame it on my education. Blame it on my own self disinterest in history as an adolescent - I had no awareness of the struggles of black folks even after slavery was being outlawed. Harriet was a real-life angel on earth. She was the real Wonder Woman. 

I Am Not Your Negro (available on Netflix): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Am_Not_Your_Negro

Harriet (HBO): https://www.hbo.com/movies/harriet

I will read more content from black authors. Currently, I am reading "Go Tell It On The Mountain" by James Baldwin. 

I will vote for minorities and people who support minorities. I recently had the honor of voting for Ayanna Pressley in my district of Boston.

I will befriend and support minorities in my workplace.

I will seek out and support minority-owned small business.

I will call out my friends and family for any racist or insensitive comments or actions they make. 

I will do what I can to support the BLM movement: https://blacklivesmatter.com/

If I was a minority, I would want the majority to be aware of the discrimination and take steps to level the playing field. We're all humans. If you have any empathy whatsoever, you will join in the movement to help create a society where the color of your skin doesn't matter.

Additional media from the minority perspective:

https://muse-parade.blogspot.com/2019/08/the-hate-u-give-audiobook-review.html

https://muse-parade.blogspot.com/2019/04/becoming-audiobook-review.html

The Time We Have Left

Do you ever get the feeling you're about to die? Or going to die soon? Perhaps you think about doing it yourself, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm also not talking about having a terminal illness, having a gun pointed at your head, or being at an old enough age where you're likely to kick the bucket. It's a different, less severe, and humbling feeling. It's an odd, usually random, and fleeting feeling that something bad is going to happen. Something unexpected. Something tragic, yet bittersweet.

It's different than being in a near-miss (really, near-hit) car accident. It's different from the feeling you get when the airplane you're in experiences strong and sudden turbulence. It's not a feeling of panic. It's not that intense feeling of sadness you get when you think about death and how you don't want to die.

There could be nothing wrong in my life. I'll be driving down the road, usually a highway at night after rush hour, and this feeling hits me. I feel like my life is about to end. I think to myself what could cause it. Will there be a random drunk driver who drives me off the road? Am I going to experience a seizure and drive into a wall? Or maybe it'll happen after I get off  the road. Am I going to be mugged at gunpoint tonight? Will the gunner decide to kill me anyway, even after I handed them my wallet? 

Maybe it'll be something slower. Do I have cancer? I'm not experiencing any symptoms. Maybe it's something that will manifest itself in a way that is not noticeable, and by the time it's diagnosed, it'll be too late. If so, how much longer do I have left? Should I start getting my affairs in order?

I'm still young. Statistically, I still have about fifty years of life left. But, that's an average. I could be an outlier. Or simply, just on the lower part of the curve. With what's going on recently, you never know. I never used to have these feelings. They must have started a few years ago. I don't know if they are going to be temporary or recurring. 

But, I hope they don't go away. It's a sad feeling and a reminder of my eventual death, but it gives me motivation. Do what you can before your time is up. It's a reminder not to dwell on bad memories or regrets.

I have a fear of flying. Even though I don't show it, I'm nervous from the night before the flight to the point after landing. It's obvious by my overactive gut and bowel movements. But, after touching down I feel alive. I want to take on the world. Complete my goals. Live like there's no tomorrow. I used to wonder if there's a way to replicate this feeling even without flying. Maybe now, I have that. 

Lately I've been experiencing a slightly different feeling. It's not fleeting. It's more constant. I don't know if I'll shake the feeling or not. Hard to say. Maybe I don't want it to go away. I've had an incessant need to share and pass on my knowledge to the younger generation. I feel like if I don't share it soon, it'll be too late.

Some say it's good to feel frightened from time to time. Maybe this is why. If you live every day in a fog, like a zombie, you lose track of what's important. You lose sight of your limited time. 

I wish I could wake up every morning and feel like my plane just landed. I don't know yet how to mimic this feeling. I hope the feeling I have been experiencing lately doesn't fade away. Living in monotony is my worst nightmare. Life has a lot to offer. Sometimes you're limited by feelings from your past. Maybe it's psychological. Maybe it's stubbornness. 

Motivation is a funny thing. Sometimes it comes to you out of thin air. Most of the time I think it is random, but you may be able to increase the likelihood by making some changes in your life. Put yourself in an uncomfortable situation. Do something that scares you. Heck, it could even be a little thing like trying a different kind of food or going for a walk a different path from what you're used to. They say, the human soul thrives on exploration.

I'm going to die, but I don't know when. I shouldn't dwell on that fact, but it's good to be reminded of my limited time. I want to experience life. I want to share what I learn and discover. It's a miracle I exist in the first place. Why would I waste my limited time by thinking about my painful past? Why would I constantly do things I don't want to do? It's my life and I only have small amount of time. Then, I'm gone for good.

I'm thinking I'll change my alarm clock sound on my phone to to the sound of a jet engine coming in for a landing. Maybe that'll help induce this feeling of being alive. Really, alive.

Empathy

Human beings are animals. This is a scientific fact. Sure, we're typically smarter than most other animals, but we aren't special. We live and we die like any other living thing. No offense to any religious folks out there, but I do not believe we are children of any kind of god. We weren't created in the eyes of any omniscient being. We don't exist for any special reason. We exist due to random chance is this crazy, complex universe. Until recently, I felt special. I thought humans in general were special. I thought we were somehow more than just the collection of molecules that comprise our bodies and minds. 

We are all genetically very similar, but we're all wired differently, in a psychological sense. It's a mixture of nature and nurture. I used to think that since we are all human, we can all understand each other. I thought we could all feel empathy toward each other. I thought that being human, everyone must feel the same as I do, deep down. I don't believe this any more.

No matter what you do. How logical you are. How clear and articulate you are. Some people will feel a certain way no matter what you say to them. No matter what happens. Often, people act on feeling rather than logic. Often, it doesn't matter what the logic says. And sometimes, life isn't logical, so you have no choice but to act on feeling. Or perhaps, one cannot understand the logic or what the communication is attempting to convey. 

People are selfish in a way that they have no regard for others. Some are innately power hungry. Some feel superior to others, often in the form of racism. Many believe they know what's best, regardless of the logical views of others. In my experiences so far in life, I believe there is a spectrum. Most people I've interacted with are similar while a few select others are outliers. The outliers include the people who are racist, power hungry, or extremely selfish. The others are calm, logical, empathetic people that seem similar to myself. 

I am a pacifist to an extent. Popular historic pacifists include Einstein, Helen Keller, John Lennon, Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr (MLK). Avoid war at all costs. As we are humans, we should be able to resolve any issues in a logical manner. However, this is based on the gigantic assumption that all humans feel empathy. The assumption that all humans are logical. The assumption that all humans can be convinced, given a clear argument. Take Hitler for example. Do you think he felt empathy? Do you think he could have ever been convinced that his race was not superior to those of others in the world? I don't think so. Therefore, war was necessary. 

MLK contrasted with those such as Malcolm X. How do you bring about change in a world where not all can be convinced? MLK believed in peaceful protests. Malcolm X, at least earlier on believed peaceful protests were not effective. Are riots effective at bringing about change? That is hard to say. Maybe. Personally, I react better to calm, logical arguments. Personally, I can be convinced given a sound argument. If I see a riot with violence, destruction, and looting I generally don't react well - especially if people are being hurt, but I do see why some people feel it is necessary. 

Some people are evil in the sense that they have absolutely no regard for others. Note that I am not using the word, "evil", in the typical understanding of good and evil or right and wrong. As long as they thrive, it doesn't matter one bit if everyone else suffers. Sometimes these people are very obvious about their disregard for others. Others hide it. Some hide it so well, they appear altruistic on the outside, but actually have evil core. It might not be obvious in their look or in their speech, but if you look closely at their actions, you may be able to catch a glimpse of it. Sometimes, it's very obvious to some, but not to others. 

So, here's a question. Are billionaires evil? This obviously depends on your definition of the word evil, but, let's phrase it another way: do billionaires have an extreme lack of regard for others? I would say for the most part, yes! A billion dollars is a staggering amount of money. Hundred (100), thousand (1,000), million (1,000,000), billion (1,000,000,000), trillion (1,000,000,000,000). These are just words. If you have a hard time grasping just how much larger one billion is compared to a million, here's a nice visual drawn by yours truly. I know, I should have been an artist. If you stack $100 dollar bills, 1 million dollars will be about 5 feet tall. A billion dollars will stack up to the height of the tallest building in the world. $1 trillion would reach outer space. The drawing is not to scale, so the $ 1 billion is even taller. 

$1 million is the amount of money many people work their entire lives to acquire so that they can retire comfortably say around the age of 65. Sadly, most of us aren't able to even do that. There are about 2000 billionaires worldwide. Because they have such vast amounts of money, this gives them power. Because they have such a vast percentage of wealth, this means A LOT less for everyone else. $1 trillion is an obscene amount of money for any one person to have. I think it's pretty obvious they have an extreme disregard for everyone else. They live like kings and queens while the large percentage of the world's population suffers. 

My guess is that unregulated capitalism is the cause of the world's billionaires. Without any rules or laws in place set by the government, people can continue to gain wealth at an exponential rate like Jeff Bezos, the CEO and creator of Amazon whose net worth is about 200 billion dollars. He may be on track to be the world's first trillionaire. As disturbing as this is, I find it even more disturbing that people continue to buy products on Amazon. Some billionaires give some of their money away to charities, but it's not enough. We need a wealth tax. Period. These people are forever greedy and selfish. Because we can't expect them to change, the government needs to step in. Sadly, many people in government are affiliated with these billionaires, so government may not do a thing. 

Well, that was a rant and a half. Now, getting back to what I originally wanted to discuss... humans, despite being 99.99% the same genetically, how different and animal-like they are. Nature and nurture are contributing factors. Location and environment is another factor. For example, in Japan the collective good is emphasized as important. In America, it's a free for all, everyone for themselves. Japan, Canada, and several others countries have excellent country-wide government-funded healthcare. Have a major accident in one of these countries? Your bank account is fine. Have that same accident in the US? You could go bankrupt. In the US, your healthcare is tied to your job. Lose your job, lose your insurance. The government doesn't care about you. 

In general (unless we're talking about family), other people don't care about you. That is, unless you can do something useful for them. Does it seem like your boss at work cares about you? Probably. Do they actually care about you? No, probably not. They only care about how good you are at your job. If you don't provide any value, people won't care if you disappear off the face of the earth tomorrow. That's reality. That's what we are. For the most part. There are humans who do care for others who have no requirement that the other person do anything of value for them. You've heard of a parent's unrequited love for their child. Some parents don't have this, but I would say most do. A child can do absolutely nothing of value for the parent, yet the parent will always care deeply for them and are willing to do anything for them.

There are some people who have unrequited compassion for non-family members. Have you ever seen someone give money to a homeless person? These people are obviously expecting nothing in return. They feel for the less fortunate. They care. I would argue that this action makes them feel good, so they are actually getting something in return - but not from the other person directly. The same applies to people who give a portion of  their salary or time to charity or those who volunteer as soup kitchens. I like to think of these people as angels on earth. But, there aren't enough of them. And not enough of them are wealthy or in positions of power.

We have to get more of these angels on earth in power to shift the balance of empathy and selfishness. To do that, we all need to vote. In every single election we have the ability to vote in. Get more involved in politics. Research all the candidates. Vote for people you like and share common interests in. Otherwise we're letting selfish people rule our country and write our laws. Your government will not automatically care about you. People are animals. Do not expect one human in power to care for another simply because they are the same species. The government is a group of humans. If that group of humans is filled with uncompassionate people, the rest of us are doomed. 

Bank Accounts

‘Put your money in the bank’ is what I always remember hearing growing up. This is partly true. What you really want to do is put some of your money in the bank and the rest in the stock market.

Keeping all your money in an average bank, or simply in cash under your mattress, causes it to lose value over time due to this horrible thing called inflation. 

So how much money do you want to store in the bank? Enough to cover an emergency, commonly referred to as an emergency fund, typically 4-6 months worth of expenses. That’s it! The rest of it should be in the market where it can grow. 

However, if you are saving up for a large purchase such as a car or a down payment on a home, you may also want to keep these funds in your bank - BUT, more ideally they would at least be in a certificate of deposit (CD) until you are ready to buy. A CD is a type of savings account mostly offered by banks to grow your money for a relatively short period of time.

So, checking vs savings accounts. I always wondered why it was called a savings account. I did not find out until recently that savings accounts actually have a growth factor called an annual percentage yield (APY). I never noticed all these years because the banks that I have used thus far have such a TINY APY. They would deposit pennies in my savings account every year and I wasn’t sure why. Well, what do you think your bank actually does with all this money? They are investing it in the stock market! They are making tons of money off of your money and then giving you pennies in return. Because a lot of these funds are locked up in the market, banks will typically have limits in place for withdrawals. Checking accounts on the other hand likely aren’t invested by the bank, so there are no withdrawal limits.

It wasn’t until recently that I discovered ‘high yield’ savings accounts. These are just savings accounts with relatively high APY. For reference, most banks in America have savings accounts with an APY of just 0.06%. Currently (August 2020), high-yield savings accounts have an APY of 0.8%. That’s a HUGE difference. Keep in mind this % changes and fluctuates according to the current financial climate. The 0.8% used to be upwards of 2% just several months ago. As soon as the market recovers, this 0.8% will increase again. 

Here’s some quick math: let’s compare a bank with an APY of 2% and one with 0.06%. Let’s say you have $10,000 in your savings account as your emergency fund. After one year, your high-yield account will have paid you 0.02 * $10,000 = $200. Your other account would have paid you 0.0006 * $10,000 = $6. $200 vs $6: which would you rather have?

One downside to most high-yield accounts is that they are online only. I really have no need for a brick-and-mortar physical location bank, so this isn’t really a downside for me personally. Below I listed a few popular banks that offer high-yield savings accounts. These accounts are ideal storage locations for your emergency funds as well a safe place to grow the money you are saving up for a large purchase if you decide against a CD.

A few other minor downsides: - You cannot deposit cash. For this reason If you have a need to deposit cash, I suggest having a separate bank that has a physical location - then you can initiate a transfer between banks if needed. You can deposit checks via smartphone and of course set up direct deposit like any other bank. - The way you get cash out of your account is through any ATM. They provide you with a debit card (assuming you also opened a checking account with them). Unfortunately, there's a limit of $1,000 per day at ATMs. Therefore, should you have a need to withdraw all of your funds in cash in one day, this would not be possible. You can however write a check for any amount OR transfer funds online via Zelle.

Despite these minor downsides, a high-yield account is a wonderful thing to have. Depending on the inflation rate, a high APY account will allow your money to more or less retain its value over time.

High-yield savings (bank) accounts:

Ally Bank

Capital One (360 performance savings)

Marcus (Goldman Sachs) 

Cancel Culture

I'm 34 years old. I grew up in the time of the original Power Rangers. I had a black and white Gameboy the size and shape of a brick. I'm a bit out of touch when it comes to recent culture and trends. I typically live under a rock when it comes to social media and new-age terms and movements like, 'cancel culture' and being 'woke'. I spent the majority of my life living under a rock - both intentionally and unintentionally... but that's a story for another time.

As I'm becoming more interested and involved with politics (regret not being involved earlier), I realize these things matter and I need to learn about them.

Dictionary.com definition of cancel culture:

"Cancel culture refers to the popular practice of withdrawing support for (canceling) public figures and companies after they have done or said something considered objectionable or offensive. Cancel culture is generally discussed as being performed on social media in the form of group shaming."

It sounds like a form of Boycott (link to my blog on the subject). I actively participate in a several long-term boycotts of certain companies that I have philosophical differences with. Cancel culture sounds like a boycott of people and even just one individual. However, a big issue that I am discovering is that people are 'cancelling' people sometimes without much proof or for a silly reason such as an insignificant difference of opinion. General Boycotting also has this issue, but I feel it's more prevalent with cancel culture because of social media and the all too easy spread of disinformation. 

Boycotts can be very effective given enough people are on board. Typically they start small and then gain momentum. This is the same process for cancelling someone, except it likely occurs very fast. The problem is that it often happens prematurely. Say a popular music artist is accused of sexual assault. They might then immediately 'cancelled' by large swarms of people. The judgement happens before the truth is out. 'Innocent until proven guilty' is often thrown out of the window. 

It could be a smaller offense. You could give provide an opinion that might offend someone and heavy backlash could follow given it reaches enough people. Boycotting and cancelling are a form of social justice. The people have the power to choose to support or ignore certain people, groups, companies without the need for legal litigation. People like to feel like they are a part of something. They like to feel like they are making a difference. If they hop on a particular bandwagon that is boycotting someone, they feel like they've done something important. But have they done their research?

I think this ties into social media induced A.D.D. Scrolling through endless streams of media posts provides us with an endless dose happiness-inducing chemicals in our brain. By latching on to a movement such as a cancellation, we feel even better. This allows us to feel like activists. It's fast and easy. But is it right? Is it fair? Are we judging too quickly? Our attention deficit prevents us from looking too deep into the actual issue. Doing any kind of significant research is probably not very fun, so our happiness-hungry brains quickly move onto a different topic.

To cancel something or someone is just another term for Boycotting them. It's just a modern, more hip term. It's a new branding. In with the new, out with the old like a new trendy pair of jeans. Maybe it'll be called something else in a few years. It's Boycotting brought to the world of social media and public shaming. You hop on a cancel train and all of a sudden you feel 'woke' and informed and aware of the problems in the world and by being on the train with a host of others, you feel you are making a difference.

I am all for Boycotting. Since cancel culture is Boycotting with a new label, I'm in favor of it. But, people need to do their research before committing to something. You cannot judge too quickly. The world is a complicated place. Your actions have consequences. If you are going to publicly shame someone, you better make sure aware of the facts. The world is not black and white. 

Resources:

Excellent (warning: very long) speech on 'wokeness':

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sni7ghqHBJw

HuffPost UK video explanation of cancel culture:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bisnMOujqFs

Harvard professor against issues with cancel culture:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-erKC_TT9dQ

Barack Obama on 'call-out culture' and being 'woke':

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaHLd8de6nM