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Massholes and Road Rage

Massholes: assholes who live in Massachusetts - automobile drivers in particular. They're real. There are asshole drivers in every state, every town; however, since many areas in Massachusetts are overpopulated cluster fucks (pardon my french), you encounter the assholes much more frequently. Not to mention the awkwardly designed streets.

Having lived in eastern MA for the last several months, I've had a chance to acclimate to the madness - but just when I thought I've seen it all, I encounter the biggest Masshole of them all. I was at an intersection at a green light behind a car that was turning left. We did not have an arrow, so the car in front of me had to wait for the oncoming traffic before making the turn.

I hear this obnoxious beeping behind me and I glance into my rear-view mirror. Some irritated middle-aged fellow making hand gestures and mouthing, "go, go!".  He was alone. He certainly wasn't driving anyone pregnant to the hospital. Maybe he had t…
Recent posts

Receipt Paper Note: The Shark Attack

[ I'm at a public pool. There are a bunch of people in the water swimming around and having a good time. I'm sitting down with a few friends. We're just looking out at the water. Somehow there don't seem to be as many people in the water as before. I didn't see anyone leave. I tell my friends, but they don't acknowledge me and continue staring at the water.I stand up and walk over to the water's edge. Something definitely isn't right. I look over at an old man doing the backstroke. He is the only one left in the pool. How is that possible?One arm in, one arm out, kicking his legs as he moves along at a swift pace. I'm always amazed by old folks who can just keep swimming and swimming. I keep my eyes on the old man. One arm in, the other arm....... is missing!The old man splashes around and seems to be having a panic attack. He looks in my direction and desperately calls for help. "Shark!! Help me!!", he screams. I turn around and shout at …

Receipt Paper Note: My Original Nightmare

What could a five year old boy, having an ordinary life, be so afraid of that he leaps down what seemed to be an entire flight of stairs to escape?

I'll tell you. But it doesn't make any sense. The contents had no tie to his reality. It's just a dark and deeply terrifying experience which likely can't be captured here with tiny, un-scary letters. But, I'll to to explain what he experienced about once a month, for about a year.

[ My Original Nightmare

It's dark, very dark, but there is a glimmer of moonlight on the horizon - but I can barely see the outline of my arms and hands. I'm in a big lake, but I can't see the edge. There is no boat. Am I in the water? I don't know. I can't just be hovering over the water.... ? My legs aren't visible... so they must be in the water - but I am not moving at all. How am I not sinking? It's not ice because I can make a splash - but there is no sound. Everything is so still and quiet. I keep looking ar…

Receipt Paper Note: The T-Rex Attack

[ I'm in a shopping mall walking through the aisle, mostly just wandering around and people watching. Suddenly a friggin' T-Rex crashes through wall of the building Jurassic park style and starts to roar like in the movies. Naturally I begin running away like everyone else. Out of all the friggin' people in the mall, it starts chasing after me. (Of course it is - it's my nightmare after all)

I try to think quickly how I can get away so I turn in to one of the department stores hoping it didn't see me. I was hiding in a clothes rack peeking through some shirt sleeves over at the window to the store. And there it was. It's gigantic head just outside the glass, fogging up the window ass it breathed. It must have had my scent or something because I knew it couldn't see me; I was so still after all! A T-Rex can only see movement, according to the movie!

I knew it was waiting for me. It was just sitting there, panting, looking through the department store's w…

Receipt Paper Note: The Expensive Football

I used to work at a drugstore as a cashier and I was extremely bored most of the time. Whenever I was up at the register and there were no customers, you are supposed to find something productive to do like sweep the floor, or straighten out the candy selection. Instead - when I knew the manager wasn't keeping an eye on me - which I'm assuming he did often, I would let my mind wander and I would jot down random notes on receipt paper that I would manually feed through the machine. The notes include random ideas or memories - either from actual experiences or dreams.
I did this quite often, so I accumulated a pile of receipt-paper notes that I never got rid of. I've been carrying them around, from apartment to apartment, held together by a big binder clip. I thought I would share some of them.
[ 'The Expensive Football'
I think I was around 10 years old. My mother and I were in a store - probably a Target or Walmart. As we were walking down one of the aisles, I spo…

Things We Can Learn From A Cat

Avoid car rides at all costs; cars are death mobiles… driving is one of the more dangerous things you can do!
Allow the experience of fresh air to be enjoyable and avoid the wind in your face because it is damn annoying!
When loved ones come home, always approach them and demand food and exactly 30 seconds of attention.
When it’s in your best interest, practice your pity meow.
Let others know they’ve invaded your territory by clawing the hell out of their hands.
Take long naps and stretch before rising; after rising, circle around the same spot about six times, and then take another nap.
Run, romp, play daily, and chew on all plastic bags in the house.
Eat slowly, loudly, and with your mouth open so that those who fed you are aware that it has been too long since they last fed you.
Be just loyal enough so that you keep getting fed.
Practice the art of pretending so that you can get what you want.
If you have what you want buried, leave it there for someone to clean up later.
When som…

Things We Can Learn From A Dog

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know they’ve invaded your territory.
Take naps and stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you’re not.
If what you want lies buried, dig for it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
Thrive on attention and let people hug you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.
When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
No matter how often you’re scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout – run right back and make friends.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Dealing With Insults

Hey idiot! Why are you so fat? Were you born this ugly?

Have you ever been 'hurt' or 'offended' by what someone has said to you? Has it haunted you for days, weeks, or even months on end because someone thought or thinks you are either stupid, fat, or ugly?

Do you think the reason your feelings are hurt is because you are insecure about something? Do you think that maybe what that person said is true?

It may be true. It may not be. But, it isn't for them to decide. You'll notice in life that people judge others very quickly. Even long-term judgements may be incorrect. No one will ever know you as well as you should know yourself.

You should know who you are. You should know what you look like. You should know what you are capable of. Any thoughts from others are just opinions. Know yourself and embrace what and who you are; be comfortable with things you cannot change and change things you that are possible to change.

It may not be clear what is possible and wh…

On Certainty Part II

* Update* Related article (not written by me)

Following directly from my last post, I can be certain of at least two things:

1) Everything that we think (ideas) or experience (what we perceive) exists to some capacity.
2) There's no way of knowing the exact (or type of) capacity. (perhaps everything is pure idea)

The computer screen in front of me exists to some extent. Is it a material object that exists objectively, outside my thoughts and perceivances or is it just an idea? I don't know, but it certainly exists!
Okay, I think I can lump this idea into one bullet point: Everything we think of, experience, or perceive exists - but there is no way of knowing to what capacity.

That is a pretty general statement, but it is also pretty solid (in my opinion) in terms of certainty.
So what else can you be certain of? I have provided one thing that I believe to be certain. Descartes w…

On Certainty Part I

I no longer know what I believe. I think it is time to start over (again). Does this sound familiar? René Descartes did something similar in the 1600s. I think it is a good idea to look at yourself and your beliefs once in a while to reevaluate what you think you know. It might seem (at least to myself) that I know quite a lot. But actually, I know very little - perhaps even nothing!

Do I possess the intellect or moral capactiy to judge an objective right from an objective wrong? No.

Do objective right and wrongs even exist? (I don't think so)

Do I know for sure that the sun will rise tomorrow? No. It hasn't happened yet!

Do I know that I will die? No! I cannot predict the future! (You hear all time that 'death and taxes are certain'. Surely you can imagine that tomorrow science will provide a breakthrough allowing our lifespans to exist forever. And taxes? What if I remove myself from society and lose myself in the wilderness?)

It's perhaps even possible that I d…