My White Privilege

I'm a 34 year old white man. I'm moderately successful and make a pretty decent salary. I worked hard to get where I am. Up until recently, it hadn't occurred to me that I have had a large advantage in life because of the color of my skin. 

Why did it take me so long to realize this? A lot of it has to do with recent events along with the Black Lives Matter movement. Part of the reason is because of my lack of understanding of history. In addition, even though I don't see racism on a day to day basis, it often happens behind the scenes.

Growing up I didn't have many friends. Maybe a handful here and there through grade school. Three of them were black. Actually, I think my very first friend was black. This was in Alaska. My father was in the army, so we did a fair amount of traveling. We eventually settled in New England, which is where most of our family was. 

Now in New England, I started elementary school at a mostly white school from grades 1-2. Then we moved again, but not far. Starting in third grade in a different elementary school, my best friend was black. His name was Marques. I'm not entirely sure how the relationship started. I was always very quiet and reserved. I think he's one of the only kids who would talk to me. Perhaps I was the only other kid who  would talk to him. He remained by best friend until middle school. We ate lunch and spent recess together. We even played baseball together on the same team for a season in Little League. 

I also had another (black) friend later on by the name of Jesse which began when I stood up for him on the school bus after school. Some other kids were teasing him. Jesse was the Steve Urkel type, so he was constantly being picked on. After elementary school ended, things changed. We were no longer in the same classroom and naturally grew apart. From middle school on, I was essentially a loner. I had a hard time making friends.  Marques and I interacted a little bit in Middle and High school, but not much. The last time I saw Marques was actually in College much later on. We randomly ran into each other and chatted very briefly and then went on with our lives. 

Later on in high school I had a few friends, one of which was my second cousin (half white/hispanic). Another was an Italian boy who lived down the street from me. I was sort of adopted into a small group of skateboarders, all of whom were white. We listened to bands like Slipknot and Rage Against the Machine. We did stupid and silly things around town like mimic the members of Jackass, driving each other in shopping carts and launching into big bushes. Even though I spent a significant amount of time with these kids, I never really felt close to them. There were never really any deep or meaningful conversations. I drifted away from these people as well eventually a few years after high school. 

Then in college, I settled on mathematics for my major. My classes were 95% white students and professors. I stumbled upon an engineering job after that. At the company, I could count the number of black employees on one hand. A good number of  Asian/Indian. Some hispanic. Mostly white. I would say, 85% white. The breakdown should reflect that of the state. See graph at top for state of CT where my company is. E.g. if my company had 100 employees, at least 11 of them (or more) should be black. 

I never thought twice about it. But, it's likely the case that I was given preference, not for my qualifications, but for my white skin. I have never seen this happen first-hand because I have never been in a management or HR position, but I'm convinced that this type of discrimination happens. And it's not just at work. It's anywhere I go. People will treat me better and show me more respect because I am white. That's a gigantic advantage in life to have. 

I never thought much about racism because I never experienced it. I never even witnessed it. My family, at least on the surface weren't visibly racist. I was raised to treat everyone with respect. I had several black friends growing up. My high school was at most 50% white. I grew up among a mixed bag of people. Little did I know that society viewed me as more valuable than my non-white classmates.

To be honest, I was never much interested in history growing up. I knew that human slaves existed and I knew slavery was abolished. Therefore, everything was fine. The playing field was now level. Right? WRONG. It never occured to me just how unfair things still were. And still are. It has never been a level and fair playing field. Part of the reason is because of unregulated capitalism throughout the world. Whites had a huge head start in terms of property and wealth. After slavery was abolished, the only people who were starting from the ground up were former slaves. With such a large head start, how would they ever be able catch up in society? It would be one thing if in addition to the abolishment of slavery, racism could be turned off like a light switch. Sadly that was not the case. BUT, even if it was the case and racism didn't exist, having to start at such a low level of society - and a capitalistic one at that, is an almost impossible hurdle.

White privilege has been ingrained in our society ever since europeans came to America. White settlers felt entitled to this land and stripped it away from the Native Americans. They felt superior to those who had a darker skin color. They completely took over the land, largely by force. Later on they purchased and brought slaves over to America and forced them to do their bidding, to allow the lives of White people to be cozy and comfortable. This sense of entitlement and privilege never faded away. Once the whites were in power, they hoarded that power. The whites had children and raised their children with the same values they had. In addition, these children inherited their parent's wealth. Being wealthy from the get go puts you in a different mindset from those who have to work hard to accumulate wealth. It makes you feel superior and entitled. Most wealthy folks are white, hence the white privilege gets perpetuated. 

I was recently called a racist. This came from a random email through my school email from another student. I was one of hundreds of graduate students she included in the email. She was on a mission, a tirade some would say. She was calling everyone a racist. What she really meant (in my view), was that we were all participants in a systematic racist country. I am not a racist, at least in the conventional definition of the word. However, I admit I am an unwitting participant in this systematic racist country. I have a privilege that I shouldn't have. Indeed, since I am not part of the solution, I am part of the problem.

Society has been white-washed throughout the years, a sort of brainwashing in which I succumbed to. There used to be a song I used to hear all the time on the radio called, 'Fast Car' by Tracy Chapman. This was a fantastic song. It always drew me in and gave me chills. Just recently, in the year 2020 did I find out the artist is a black woman. I always assumed it was a white woman! I am so ashamed and embarrassed. Another band I used to listen to is Sevendust. I had no idea the lead singer was black! What is wrong with me? Why did I assume they were all white? Maybe it's because all the other bands I listened to had white-only members. But, I think there's a deeper underlying cause for my assumption - and that is systematic racism. 

Tracy Chapman - Fast Car: https://youtu.be/AIOAlaACuv4

Sevendust - Dirty: https://youtu.be/8avjkSoRSbk

Earth, Wind & Fire - September: https://youtu.be/Gs069dndIYk

Now that I'm finally aware of systematic racism and my privilege as a white person, I want to take action. The first thing I can and should do is further educate myself. Recently I watched a historic dramatization of the life of Harriet Tubman on HBO. INCREDIBLE. Blame it on my education. Blame it on my own self disinterest in history as an adolescent - I had no awareness of the struggles of black folks even after slavery was being outlawed. Harriet was a real-life angel on earth. She was the real Wonder Woman. 

I Am Not Your Negro (available on Netflix): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Am_Not_Your_Negro

Harriet (HBO): https://www.hbo.com/movies/harriet

I will read more content from black authors. Currently, I am reading "Go Tell It On The Mountain" by James Baldwin. 

I will vote for minorities and people who support minorities. I recently had the honor of voting for Ayanna Pressley in my district of Boston.

I will befriend and support minorities in my workplace.

I will seek out and support minority-owned small business.

I will call out my friends and family for any racist or insensitive comments or actions they make. 

I will do what I can to support the BLM movement: https://blacklivesmatter.com/

If I was a minority, I would want the majority to be aware of the discrimination and take steps to level the playing field. We're all humans. If you have any empathy whatsoever, you will join in the movement to help create a society where the color of your skin doesn't matter.

Additional media from the minority perspective:

https://muse-parade.blogspot.com/2019/08/the-hate-u-give-audiobook-review.html

https://muse-parade.blogspot.com/2019/04/becoming-audiobook-review.html